If you have read my other blog My Story, you would know I was suffering from anxiety. It wasn’t until I spoke to my psychologist that I realised how amazing our mind and body actually is. I learnt a lot about neuroplasticity and how I was capable of completely changing my mindset to manage my anxiety, and it wasn’t long after I learnt to use this tool to improve my entire mindset towards my life- including my self love towards my body.
I mean have you ever really thought about how much our bodies actually love us?
Our body is always working to keep us alive, making sure we breathe 24-7 even when we are in bed sleeping, our body stops cuts from bleeding, it fixes broken bones and finds a way to beat every illness we might have. Our body literally loves us so much and its about time we start loving it back.
Unfortunately growing up in a world where society has taught us what’s wrong and what’s right has tainted our view on what we should and shouldn’t look like. Expectations have been set and looking like that photoshopped magazine cover is a must but how dare you photoshop your pictures or your high school boyfriend has Kylie Jenner as his background but likes “natural” girls. It is incredibly confusing and trying to fit in or impress the people around you created an immense amount of pressure.
Why do we care so much what people think? And why are we so harsh on ourselves?
A couple of weeks ago I put a story up on my Instagram that gained a lot of positive response.
“If someone is posting themselves at their best, why are we comparing it to ourselves at our worst?”
Instagram is a highlight reel, and why shouldn’t it be? But it doesn’t mean that is what we should be comparing ourselves too, its time to start being kinder to ourselves and stop comparing!
“Stay in your own lane”
I love this saying, don’t worry about what anyone else is doing, just look after yourself. Your body is not going to be right for everyone but the goal is to get to a point where your body is right for you. The grass is always greener on the other side because they are watering it, it’s time to water yours.
Throughout my teenage years I was so hard on myself. I would do things like look in the mirror and pick apart the parts of me I didn’t like, I would physically grab my stomach and squish it up making it feel “grosser”, or I would shake my legs to make my thighs giggle - like that scene from white chicks “Tina the talking tummy”.
All of this was forming an unhealthy mindset and creating negativity towards not only my body but my whole mindset. I wore myself down, soon enough I wasn’t happy with anything about myself and I had very little confidence.
Once I had improved my mental health, I was in a position to start working towards my health and fitness goals, it took me a while to start loving myself, it was absolutely a roller coaster journey and to be completely honest it is only the last few months I have really grown my self confidence and started loving myself in a way I never thought I could.
I work extremely hard in the gym and I have worked with an amazing nutritionist for a year now, JSH Nutrition. I have made substantial changes not only to my body but my physical and mental health and my lifestyle has completely changed.
I stopped watching the scales and I started noting improvements in the gym, soon I could see what my body was capable of and I was amazed. I fell in love with the progression, I loved what I could do and with that I started speaking to myself in a more positive way, I started looking at my body seeing it in a completely different light and with all of that positivity I was motivated to work harder.
I lost a substantial amount of weight and I did change the way my body looked, but my drive wasn’t to look different it was to feel better and improve my mental and overall health and with that came those body changes.
I was feeling confident about what my body was capable of and therefore it got easier and easier to look at myself in a more positive light.
My cousin Peri Roberts recently shared something on her social media that resonated with me;
“Crazy how I shifted the focus to myself and I’m attracting everything I wanted. Your mind is powerful, learn how to use it to its fullest extent”
Once you start focusing on yourself, you start doing things for yourself and not others. There are so many ways to look at things and once you start having a positive mindset you will find your confidence rising and confidence breeds confidence.
Learning to love myself was the best thing I have ever done, I am confident, brave, happy, outgoing and my ability to love and help others has increased more then ever. My relationships with my friends have improved, my relationship with my husband has improved and our business is flourishing, there are so many benefits to loving yourself and I really encourage everyone to start making small changes in their life to work towards it.
Speak to yourself kindly, be gentle with your body and notice what your body is capable of and fall in love with that. Practice self-love, look in the mirror and pick three things you love about yourself, touch your body – rub down your arms, touch your belly and your legs, feel how soft your skin is and learn to love each lump and bump.
“Confidence isn’t walking into a room with your nose up, and thinking you are better than everyone else, its walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone else in the first place.”
You got this! Love Riles xx